SWF ISO SM for something real.
Headline: You and Me
Pink Floyd asked the question, “Is there anybody out there?” Of course they also coined the phrase, “How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?” So it’s not all deep thoughts over there.
I like Pink Floyd. If you assume that defines me? Scram. No, really. Scram.
If you were stranded on a desert island, you’d bring a cast iron pan, a Radio Flyer wagon, a jaw harp, two bandannas, and a Ginsu knife.
I respect the Oxford comma. If you touch the arch of my foot just so? I will moan like a porn star. Rodents are not pets. I want to look like Lauren Graham, but the truth is I’m more Janeane Garofalo in The Truth About Cats and Dogs. I hated that movie.
You are taller than me, which isn’t hard to accomplish, and please? If you suffer from a Napoleon complex, it’d better be Dynamite, not Bonaparte, because I have no time for that bullshit. Five-foot-six or better, gentlemen. You have been warned.
I read somewhere that an interest in politics is only more interesting to a potential date than a book club membership or business networking strategies. I’m not like the other girls. Let’s talk immigration reform and debt ceiling, sugar.
I am a fan of Tom Stoppard and e.e. cummings. I think Dickinson is overrated and T.S. Eliot was a genius. I play the cello. Badly. I think modern art sucks.
I’m not interested in your money. To quote the straightforward if not eloquent Beyoncé Knowles, “I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings.” On the other hand, if you bring me daisies, I’ll probably cry. Don’t do that on the first date–I’ll be wearing mascara.
Let’s have fun this week. We want you to write a personal ad for your character, like one you would find on a dating site. The ad should tell us about your character, but should not be a laundry list – and no cliches about walks on the beach.