Haiku for the Wholesale Club on Saturday Morning

Savings’ siren song
Aisles of bargains await me.
Will there be samples?

Minivan parade
in the pack’d club parking lot.
Asshole! That’s my space!

Dodge wandering carts,
Long line at the deli, some
guy broke Self Check Out.

Home, unload the loot.
Fourteen trips from car to house.
TP for six months.

Repackaging meats;
Five point five pounds of ground beef
Into the deep freeze.

Cases of seltzer,
Snack packs of cookies, dried fruit,
Apocalypse prep’d.

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12 responses to “Haiku for the Wholesale Club on Saturday Morning

  1. You delight me to no end, you know.

  2. Ha ha! That’s awesome 🙂 You should let BJ’s use that for advertising.

  3. bravo!
    and your shopping habits are quite intimidating.
    TP for six months? is this how REAL parents shop?
    talk about performance anxiety.
    dammit.

    • Marian, every single day I think I’d like to drop it all, move to a farmhouse in Addison county, VT, join a co-op, and never buy anything in bulk again.

      For now, though? When the dog’s food and the child’s diaper budgets are half the family income? Off to the big box store.

      Also? six months might be a slight exaggeration…

  4. anyone that uses asshole in a haiku deserves all the nutella they can consume…
    I’ll check the big box store.
    ha!
    also? Costco has amazing cakes and so cheap.
    “Apocalypse prep’d. ”
    no shit! ha ha ha!!!

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